Remember, you are dealing with a dating site.! Just by virtue, many many women are already skeptical /pessimistic about the whole process (be it scammers, the drive by one liners ‘hey baby, wanna F*uck’, etc).
So what’s a fella to do?
Be Different than all the other chumpy guys and take responsibility for your own happiness, rather than blame women. Instead, take the initiative and learn about how women process their world around them.
From my experience being on OKCupid and POF, the following few tips ABSOLUTELY works to get a response and Start a dialog with someone, regardless of site :
1. Go back to your dating profile and review it. (Yes, many women won’t even look at your profile until at least two or three email exchanges – when the start to feel invested in the proccess – but boy , you’ll be glad you rewrote your profile when they do!
– Two or three paragraphs at the Most (remember, we’re not writing War & Peace here, but a *brief* into about yourself).
– Be Confident in your description, but not arrogant. Simple tip: Write what you absolutely know about yourself without questioning if you’re being grandiose or embellishing. That’s your goal.
– Does every photo of you include a beer in your hand? Standing in front of the mirror with your shirt off taking a selfie? On a motorcycle or Rock climbing / posturing? If so, get some new photos and Be different than every other guy out their with the same cookie-cutter profile.
2. Write ONE paragraph in your initial email to the individual you are contacting with the following attributes :
– Make that message a little quirky and fun.
– Do NOT comment on her vanity or looks in your initial email exchanges. Women get this crap All day! Wait until the actual date to make a polite comment about what you like about her. This one tip alone has profoundly changed how my dating life had worked.
– Do not convey any sort of neediness or desperation in your initial messages (aka, trying to get her email, phone #, telling her how incredibly compatible you feel you both are, lest they will RUN for the hills!)
Finally, do not be afraid to email as many individuals as you feel comfortable with. This is genuinely a numbers game in the end (figure you’ll receive MAYBE one response for every 5-7 people you email). The more people you reach out to that you genuinely are interested in meeting, the less hung up you will get on any one response.